Who wants to be a Harrier's mate?

to the tune of 'Who wants to be a millionaire?'
Who wants to be a Harrier's mate? (I don't)
Who'd want to suffer such a fate? (I don't)
Who'd want to live on board a fine fleet of yachts?
A fine fleet of yachts? It's not quite the tops.
Who'd rather sail away with me? (I will)
But we've got to make the crew their tea (Oh swell)
Who'd want to do the things mates do?
Well I don't - so why on earth can't you?

Who'd want to organise a crew? (I don't)
Make sure they know just what to do? (they don't)
Who'd want to be in charge of washing up stacks?
Charge of washing up stacks? I think that's "no thanks"
Who'd want to speak in cabin club? (mumble)
Just when you've had a load of grub (rumble)
Endless tea so you don't have to feel blue,
And that's why I always need the loo.

Who'd want to sail across a broad? (I should)
Running, reaching, then be safely moored? (I could)
Who'd love to tack gently along Meadow Dyke?
Along Meadow Dyke? That's something I'd like.
Who wants to tank along a river? (Yes please)
Leaving the cruisers all a-quiver (in lees)
We think that we're qualified, and it's true,
So why can't we, why can't we,
So why can't we be a skipper too?