I'm a Harrier/Mallard/Kestrel and I'm okay

to the tune of 'I'm a lumberjack'
I'm a Harrier/Mallard/Kestrel and I'm okay,
I sing all night and I quant all day.

I am no good at sailing,
Except when into banks.
And when I break the quantpole,
I don't get any thanks.

I don't know all the fancy names,
Like halyard, sheet or jib.
I didn't know what a quantpole was,
Til they shoved one in my ribs.

My skipper gets impatient,
Cos I don't understand
The funny words he shouts at me,
When he gives the crew commands.

I haven't learnt to steer yet,
I sail right into things.
And rowing in a dinghy,
I go around in rings.

They wake us up at seven,
And feed us eggy bread.
And make us work so hard all day,
That by half past six we're dead.

The Commy likes us to be neat,
And inspects our boats/tents each day.
We give him bribes for extra points,
How much does Carol pay?

I'll never forget I'm a Harrier/Mallard/Kestrel,
Cos the sun has turned me brown,
And when at least I go ashore,
The ground goes up and down.