Logs and Shanties


Hustler 5, Log for Saturday

by the crew of Hustler 5 / kestrels b 2005
We started the day with a skipper, two mates and a crew. We ended, with a rather feminine admiral, one mate, one crew, and one bilge. Throughout the day, we have also been boarded by a chief officer, a third officer, a second mate, and a hull. Events for the day have included sailing backwards, developing an attraction for yellow posts, and lessons in becoming feminine for our skipper, so he can fully appreciate his 'honorary girl' position on board. He passed his first test when he produced from his bag, this rather fetching... what colour is it?... oh yes, his PINK mug.

Please feel free to help us to continue with out assessment of him throughout the week. Thank you, this is the feminine four on Hustler 5, signing off...

Hustler 5, Log for Monday

by the crew of Hustler 5 / kestrels b 2005
Today started too early for my crew. At least, I think that's what the grunts and moans from the depths of Hustler 5 meant at 7:30 this morning when I jumped onto the stern deck and gently suggested they got up. Complaints about the quality of the sleeping accommodation followed soon after, prompting the mate and skipper to do a quick boat inspection to locate the source of the nocturnal damp. Skipper took the cabin.

"Sarah..." (Andy)
"What?" (Sarah)
"Should the carpet be floating like this?" (Andy)

The inside of Hustler 5 rapidly deteriorated into an episode of Changing Rooms as skipper and crew frantically ripped up board after board of sodden planking, carpet and clothes.

Handy Andy got out his trusty bilge pump, and pumped bucket after bucket out of the boat. After reassessing the damage, Hustler 5 was reassembled flatpack 'Ikea stylee'. During this, several new temporary positions were awarded- Ruth to skipper for skippers meeting, Andy and Sarah to bilge, for bilging, and Rachel to executive crew, for sheer efficiency.

We then realised the rest of the fleet had already departed. However, ever calm in a potentially stressful situation, the Hustler 5 crew remained cool and collected, and assumed 'hustling' positions. These were, Andy, back to skipper, Michael, (newly obtained and appointed), to skipper Emeritus, Ruth to executive mate (due to extraordinary sailing skill the previous day), Sarah to mate, and Rachel, still executive crew.

We sailed down Meadow Dyke, again with no quanting, and by the time Potter was reached, we had hustled our way past 2 boats, and were gaining on our third. Despite the Commy's cutting comments about our rather feeble feminine crew, Rachel managed to quant us through both bridges, with Ruth and Sarah on pushing duty, with 2 inches to spare, and no signs of flagging.

Here, the log begins to break down, so here is what I managed to type up/decipher, I'll leave you to decide on pronunciation/comical genius in writing etc...

After wren Rachel got demated (demoted) when instead of haiding (holding) on fo (to) the rope sle (she) was passed su (she) decileded (decided) fo (to) jump onto the baut (boat) lewing (leaving) os (us) to drifl (drift) avoy (away). Sardh (Sarah) ten (then) decitd (decided) to wrap a jib sleet arund (around) hor (her) foot when jimping (jumping) off the baut (boat) ending in a impressive splat on to the bunk.

Sailing twas (was) good.

Quote of the duy (day) - from Rachel, "I'm so tired, I haven't had any chocolate for half an hour."

Hustler 5, Log for Thursday

by the crew of Hustler 5 / kestrels b 2005
The call of "let's Hustle!" went up and the team sprang into action. The bilges were empty (6 buckets later) and the other boats had gone- it was now time to play "You've been Hustled!"

Boat after boat fell to our hustling skills, all that they knew of their recent hustling was a flash across their bows and heard the hustletastic crew shout "Hey, you've been hustled".

Some crews thought they were fantastic, so they tried to 'unhustle' the Hustler, they soon discovered that they weren't hustletastic, and revenge was sweet- topping lifts fell and the unfortunate crews heard the dreaded words- "Hey, you've been re- hustled!".