Logs and Shanties


My first skipper

by Dave / kestrels a 2010
Ok, well I was going to save this log for mallards but today has stolen my idea.

On a Thursday on Kestrels A it only means Mates become Skippers for the day. What a lovely motor in the morning from How Hill to Barton past 'B' cruise brushing our teeth. Into Herrings Hole to check out the depth for 'A' cruise lunch. We ran aground again, which is nothing new for us this week. We try again this time sticking to the channel that runs into Herrings Hole from Barton. We make it; only to find the public moorings taken. Into the trees we go to put in our reef for teaching on Barton. A conversation with a cruiser driver and back out to the broad we go.

All goes to plan; we have a sail and make it to Barton Turf the long way. The afternoon sail went better than planned. We even left moorings without using the motor, my first success of the day. We then picked up our friendly cruiser companions and went for a sail. The cruiser was safely med weighted in the middle of Barton Broad.

Off we go for a good game of touch the fender and also let Rae feel the power of the sails. Neil calls the game to an end for the journey back to Gaystaithe and the throne toilets. Little did we realise that the safely mud weighted cruiser was now next to the island just inside the channel. As soon as we managed to drop our sails and start the motor, we find the cruiser on the island where we cant get to it on a yacht like Womack Classic.

Onto the radio go to call for assistance.

'Lucent Womack Classic we need the dinghy'

No reply.

'Bure Classic Bure Classic Womack Classic Womack Classic please pick up the dinghy and motor it out to the Broad please.'

15 minutes later Bure Classic arrives, with a dinghy and the mission begins. Rae and I begin the row into shallow water. We board the cruiser and I take to the Ultimate Gem radio as I get called from Womack Classic. Sternwards we go and hard over to port. The radio banter commences as we negotiate the manoeuvre of the cruiser. We bump into a private cruiser who tries to help us. Well we will listen to a snippet.

[beep beep, call the coastguard]

After being shouted at to phone the coastguard I decide to leave the man and work out via radio with Tris and Vicki; sorry Bure Classic Bure Classic or Womack Classic Womack Classic. With the lovely cruiser driver stopping Vicki or Tris coming near but still yelling.

[beep beep, call the coastguard]

Rae and I decide with skipper advice from now annoyed Tris and Vicki to try full ahead back across the shallow water we slowly had been coming off. It works slowly turning up lots of mud. We hit the channel and decide that maybe a chat to the coastguard was needed. Is there a mobile on Ultimate Gem? Nope. So the next mission of the evening starts, yes we should have been eating dinner right now. The calls commences on the radio.

'Womack Classic Womack Classic Ultimate Gem Ultimate Gem please can my sailing bag be passed across the port side of Ultimate Gem.'

The throw was made and the last of the adventure commenced.

999 - Before I have my phone to my ear I realised what they were saying.

'Coastguard' I say - the first ringing I have heard yet goes.


'This is Ultimate Gem on Norfolk Broads, on Barton Broad'

"Oh yer"

'Just to let you know that we no longer require your assistance, we were stuck, however now free and been informed that you have been made aware of our situation. We are part of a group and have access to other motor vessels. Our motors seem fine and everything seems to be running smoothly'

"Ok, that's great. Do you have Richardson's emergency number?"

'Um, hold on somewhere... no sorry but it is somewhere'

"Ok, we were just trying to update our files now that everything is ok as it seems our files are not up together"

'Alright it should be here... no sorry I cant find it in all these papers'

I was looking but Neil later showed where they were kept under the duvet.

"Ultimate Gem Ultimate Gem Womack Classic Womack Classic... Dave Dave Womack Classic Womack Classic" [was going on]

'Hold on I just have on of my boats calling me on a private channel'

"ok, I will let you go, but please remember that if you need the coastguard please just call 999"

'ok, ok, yes thank you'

The phone goes dead and I go back to the radio.

'Womack Classic Womack Classic Dave Dave sorry I was just on the phone to the coastguard'

Much to Tris and Vicki's amusement a quick recall of the situation while organising how we are going to moor up happened over the radio.

You know you're on Kestrels A when...

by Dave / kestrels a 2010
  • you're on the same boat as Vicki Savage
  • your skipper tells you to wear waterproofs and sun cream
  • you're in the same cabin club as Becca Stanley
  • you gain a stone over the week
  • you're always looking for the next loo
  • cake is the first thought of your day
  • you just cant wait for a shower
  • you cant eat biscuits with your hands
  • you clean every corner of your cooker everyday
  • you have a tea towel halyard not a burgee halyard
  • you have your bed cleared everyday