Logs and Shanties

Mr Hunter did not awake us at 6:30, as requested, instead leaving us to wake at a leisurely 8:07am.

Chatted to Womack Classic and retrieved a grill handle from out newest sister ship, Lucent.

Breakfast: vomit in a bowl, as our antipodean cousin refers to the stomach warming breakfast substance known as porridge, with a dashing of sugar (although this somewhat resembled the hail covering at Potter Bridge), cheese sandwich with pears, chocolate spread + cheese sandwich, coffee.

Quiet Time was timed by out consistently reliable time keeping device known as the kettle, before the tidying of our vessel for the rigorous inspection, carried out with the usual 'expert precision' of the jurisdictional Jenny. We departed hunters yard at 10:57am, having previously observed Womack Classic bounce from bank to bank before gently nudging against our glamorous, custard coloured beauty of a cruise to hoist her sails. Feeling this was rather a slow approach, we decided to just sail straight out.

At 10:57am whilst consuming our midmorning snack of orange and sultana slices (only 58 calories per slice!) We inadvertently offended Womack Classic with our fenders. So we contemplated putting out some more. After slowly making our way down the Bure AND the Ant, we ended up at Ludham Bridge at a luxurious 12:58, and James nodded into the bridge. After a brief bathroom break, we set off for How Hill only to encounter a broads authority dredger, which, after a short conversation, preceded to reverse into a bank; hence, we were forced to re-asses our position and scandalize. Using the wonders of modern technology, we communicated with the rest of the cruise to warn them of the impending hazard. Within the hour we drew close to and commented on the height and stinking nature of How Hill.

Lunch: egg fried slice, with melted cheese, crisped potatoes of various flavours, french fancies, banana cake. Orange juice... coffee.

We then spent some time in quiet reflection studying the life of Daniel in the bible. We the enjoyed some leisure time, where the crew took a gentle stroll up the hill and partook in crew team building activities. 18:00 we descended to prepare inner as not tea had not been consumed. Dinner was served at 18:30.

Dinner: unfortunately Ludham bridge stores were out of cold mutton. So dinner consisted of chilli-concarne, america long-grain easy boil rice, crumble, complemented with Cox's English apples and finest Bird's custard, lemonade with a dash of no-added sugar, double concentrated apple and blackberry squash... coffee. At 19:50, our younger sister ship; Lucents' crew, who were moored adjacently, hailed us through a billowing cloud of smoke. Revealing an ashen strip of charcoaled demorera sugar which bisected their crumble to their despair.

20:27, crew member Pete went for a wonder round the river edge to take in the early evening air, noting the now disused, yet typically picturesque wind pump, and the waning moon in a crisp spring sky, framed by a blanket of cumuli stratus clouds, tinted pink by the sunset. We then retired indoors to enjoy the rest of the evening.

(To the tune of 'House of the Rising Sun')

There is a boat in Horsey Mere,
They call it Hustler 4.
It's been the ruin of many a poor skipper,
And God, I know... that Tris is one.

His mate was a young man,
And his name was Josh.
He helped him sail her on to the stake.
And crashed and sank that boat.

(To the tune of 'Worried about Ray')

Hustler's gone, Hustler's gone
He took her out on Horsey Mere, on Horsey Mere
He crashed and sank her on Horsey Mere
X2

They say that Tristan's out to get you
You know that he will sink you now

And they say that Josh is out to get you
You know that they with sink you now

Josh has gone, oh Josh gone
He sat and ate the custard creams, oh custard creams.
Even though the water was seeping in
X2

(To the tune of 'Take your Mama out')

When you grow up,
Live like a good boat oughta
With a skipper and mate that'll treat you right
But along came Tristan, oh went and kidnapped you.
And he sailed you right across Horsey Mere.

Now Mr Hunter's missing you
and he's got an empty shed.
And he's worrying about everything that Tristan said,

He gonna take your Hustler out all day.
He gonna tack each and every way.
Or he will put it on a stake where it will always stay,

And if the damage ain't good then the news is bad,
You gonna make Mr Hunter mad.
But Tristan don't mind cause it's not his boat,
Well we'll see if he can hit this note.
X2 (but an octave or two higher)

(To the tune of 'Sweet Home Alabama')

Big boat keep on sailing
Carry me home to Buttifants
Singing songs about the broad land
Crashin' into the cruiser men
And I think it's a sin... yeah

Well I heard mister Herring sail about her
Well, I heard ole' Neil put her down
Well, I hope Neil Herring will remember
A flying fish don't need him around anyhow

Sweet home Kestrels A
Where the skies are so grey
Lord, give me the power
To go for a week without a shower

On Kestrels B they love the commodore... [Boo-hoo-hoo]...
Only because he gave out the food.
Now gaining weight does not bother them,
Does that bother you?!
Now tell the truth...

Sweet home Kestrels A
Where the skies are so grey
Lord, give me the power
To go for a week without a shower
Here I come, to the shower

Now, Potter Heigham has a small bridge
And it's been known to take a mast or two
Lord, it really takes the biscuit...
But at least it has a loo
Where I can do my...

Sweet home Kestrels A
Where the skies are so grey
Lord, give me the power
To go for a week without a shower
Sweet home Kestrels A
Where the skies are so grey
Lord, give me the power
To go for a week without a shower