Logs and Shanties

Tack! AARGH! No push the tiller away from you!
Alan! Aha! He'll save every one of us!
Gybe! Aargh! It's a health hazard!

"This morning's unprecidented reed sweep was no cause for alarm..."

Gybe! Aah, extention of the mainsheet!

He's for every one of us, stands for every one of us, he'll save every man he has, every man, every woman, every child, everyone it's Alan!

"General, cruiser approaching!"
"What do you mean, cruiser approaching?!"
"Open bilges! Full pumping!"
"Despatch paddling ajax to bring back his motor!"

Tack! AARGH!

"The cruiser's alive, alive, alive..." (fade)

Alan! Aha! He'll tow every one of us!

Just a man, with a man's courage, nothing but a man, he can never fail, no-one with a purer heart, he is a golden man...

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

"Alan, Alan we love you but we only have fourteen seconds to finish this song!"

Tack!

Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, it's off to sail we go
With a skipper and a mate
And a crew that's great
Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh.

Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, it's off the bank we go
We're rowing with oars
And have blisters and sores
Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh.

Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, from Hunter's Yard we go
Radios we use
To talk with crews
Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh.

Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, on Barton we did go
Though we bandaged our boat
It's still afloat
Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh.

Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, as Mallards we do go
The commies and cooks
All have good looks
Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh.

Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, when home we do go
With any luck
We'll still have tuck
Gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh, gybe-oh.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a skipper
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the boat that I sail in, the kids on my crew
Lonely as I am, together we sail

I'd sail on the Broads 'cause we are on Mallards
I quant through the reeds, 'cause there ain't no wind
We're taking on water, that's not a good sign
Oh where is my skipper, we need him/her right now

I DON'T EVER WANTA BE, WHERE WE SAT THAT DAY
TOW ME TO THE PLACE I KNOW, TOW ME ALL THE WAY
CAUSE I DON'T EVER WANNA ROW, LIKE I DID THAT DAY
TOW ME TO THE PLACE I KNOW, TAKE ME ALL THE WAY

It's hard to believe that there's nine skippers out there
It's hard to believe that I'm not all alone
At least I have crew though, the boys who adore me
Lonely as I am, together we sail

MALLARDS IS THE PLACE TO BE, IF YOU LIKE THE RAIN
HICKLING IS THE PLACE TO BE, COS I'M SO INSANE
MALLARDS IS THE PLACE TO BE, IF YOU LIKE THE RAIN
HICKLING IS THE PLACE TO BE, COS I'M SO INSANE

UNDER THE BRIDGE AT POTTER
Is where I drew some blood
UNDER THE BRIDGE AT LUDHAM
The commie's in the way
UNDER THE BRIDGE AT POTTER
The bow sprit's through his brain
Under the bridge I'm told
He lost his life that way...

Mate, the two of us need look no more
We've both found the crew we're looking for
They're so skilled and oh so sound
They never run aground
And all the cruise will see
They sail like you and me.

Skip, each of our crew is special so
I will tell you things about them that I know
Josh, he'll really make you think
Nathaniel likes to sink
And Danny's standing here
But prone to disappear.

Crew, you're always running here and there (here and there)
You, could tack just about anywhere (anywhere)
If, the lee is drawing near
And you succumb to fear
There's something you should know
Alan can give a tow.